The other day at work a colleague, let’s call her Sally, came around to ask another colleague whether she could do a task for her because she was heading into lunch break now. Immediately my colleague turned to her and said, ‘no’. Bewildered we all looked at her and wondered where she took the courage from to simply say no. Sure, we all were aware that Sally only wanted to delegate her own task to someone else. However, I think no one else would have really replied with a simple no. Rather, we’d for sure have taken it up and later complained about how Sally always pushes her own work towards the others.
Learning to say no
Don’t we all experience situations in which we’d like to do nothing more than simply saying no. Be that to working on a project you really don’t feel like working on, going out with your friends after a busy day at work or your mother asking you to wash the dishes. However, if I’d have gotten an euro for every time a friend or relative of mine did something and later complained about how they REALLY did not want to do that, I’d be drowning in Gucci belts over here, no joke.
And I very often catch myself doing just that. Saying yes to things that I really don’t feel like doing. Feeling pressured to say yes to offers that reach my inbox, friends that want me to help them on a project, or colleagues at work asking me for a favour. I’m a chronic ‘yes-sayer’ and always afraid of either missing out or hurting someone’s feelings.
The thing is, we are not born to please others and say yes to every annoying thing. I’m a firm believer that you should help out others and be a genuinely nice person. But then again, I also do not think it’s good for your personality to do everything others ask you to do. For example, I’ve had that thing a couple of months back where I literally said yes to every offer that reached my blog-inbox because I saw all the others do it and thought to myself that this must be what I had to do for success.
That is not true, though, is it? You definitely can be selective and be successful at the same time. You can say no if you don’t feel like going out shopping for a baby shower with your friend Karen if you do not want to and you really do not need to say yes to every favour your relatives ask you for. So next time Sally comes over to you and asks you to do her job, simply answer with a genuine smile and polite “no”, while thinking “For f*cks sake, Sally NO I’m not here to do your job whilst you’re walking around smoking cigarette after cigarette”.
4 Things I’m going to say ‘NO’ to from now on:
- Going out with friends on a Friday night when I full-well know I really want to sit down with a good book and tea and have already changed into my pj’s after arriving home
- Storing Amazon orders for my neighbours. Because a) am I never really home and always feel rubbish when they have to wait days to get their package from me and b) am I way too curious and always need to fight the impulse to rip it open and see what they ordered
- Coffee dates with people from Instagram in order to seem nice and interested. Sorry, I don’t even have enough time to meet my real friends, let alone strangers from the internet
- Press trips, Events and the likes from brands I am not really interested in. Sure it’s nice to get free food and meet colleagues but it’s so damn draining for me to network and I would MUCH rather just go home
What about you? Are you good at saying no or do you need some training in this area like I do? Let’s chat in the comments down below
*Photo by Jackie K. B. Ayres on Unsplash